When I was a child,
I couldn’t be autistic
Because I was talking so young.
Then, I couldn’t be autistic
Because I was already diagnosed
With ADHD.
I couldn’t be autistic
Because I was so smart
And the gifted class
Overlapped with the counseling group.
First, I was excellent.
Then, I had straight A’s,
Followed by highest honors,
Followed by Magna Cum Laude
Followed by anxiety
Followed by panic attacks
Followed by depression.
I couldn’t be autistic
Because I was too old
And they would have caught it sooner.
You could be autistic.
You were autistic
And my friend.
So were they.
And you make me wonder
What I could be.
I could be autistic
Because I see myself
In the stories
In the details
In you.
I could be autistic
And understand
Far more than I thought I knew before.
I could be autistic
And suddenly less alone.
And if I could be autistic,
What more could I be?
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